Beast of Yucca Flats – extracts from IMDb User Reviews

As we all know from experience, sometimes IMDb users can be a little pretentious, especially when reviewing bad movies. If you dig deep enough, there’s guaranteed gold somewhere in the user reviews of every movie on there. So now it’s time for the snobbish to be snobbed by the even more snobbish. Here are some of my personal favourite Beast of Yucca Flats reviews:

 

“Nothing bothers some people – not even awful movies. Joseph Javorsky. Noted scientist. From behind the Iron Curtain. Role not explained. Secret data. Flag on the moon. A man shot. An awful film. A man runs. Somebody shoots at him. 110 in the shade. There is no shade. Actual lines. From the movie. Touch a button. The stop button. Things don’t happen. The a-bomb. A man transformed into a beast. His wife and children killed and hungry. Unrelated subplots. A woman strangled. Reasons uncertain. Couple murdered. The wheels of progress keep on turning. Pointless nudity. Secret data. Police incompetent. Noted scientist. Two boys feed soda pop to the thirsty pigs. No-one talks. At least not on screen. Narrator drones. Sentence fragments. Not yet caught up in the whirlwind of progress. How did this film get made? Shoot first, write script later. Coleman Francis. Noted bad film-maker.”

– schrodingers_duck

 

“Yucka is right! After five minutes of listening to the narrator I wanted to cover his mouth with duct tape or something. The real “beast” here is Coleman Francis for making this film atrocity!”

– BaronBl00d

 

“Just saw the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode. All I can say is that it is somehow watchable yet you have barely any idea what is going on. Flags on The Moon. Tor Johnson manages to be typecast – again…and again…and again, always monsters. Flags On The Moon. People might wonder why I end each paragraph with “Flags on the moon” that is a repeated line by a narrator that should tell us what’s going on however makes things more confusing. Flags On The Moon.”

– ted00043

 

“Sure, Plan 9 From Outer Space was terrible but at least it also got you laughing at it’s rubbishness. This film is very short, but it seems like a very long movie. If you don’t believe me, you’ll just have to take my word for it because there is no way I would recommend this to any sane human being. The scenes are boring and the characters are unnecessary like the entire movie. For the rest of my life I will stay as far away from it as possible.”

– supercoolvgfreak (who, incidentally, is my younger brother)

 

“I’ve come to the conclusion this hunk of crap was made to launder 90% of their budget because they couldn’t have spent more than a few thousand to make it. Unless you watch this with the MST3k commentary I suggest you find a better way to waste your time, like stabbing yourself repeatedly.”

– dalcazar-1

 

“For all its flaws, this film has its uses. It seems twice as long as it really is – so when it’s over, the viewer discovers a full, totally unexpected extra hour of life available! Time enough to watch a really good movie, such as “The Sinister Urge.” The net effect is similar to coming off of Daylight Savings Time in the fall. A boon! A reprieve! Etc.”

– Howard Sauertieg

 

“spoiler : A fat guy ( described as a russian scientist, but why ?) walks in the desert. He seems to get burned ( me too, buying it) get a scar on the face, strangle a moron and in the end of this poor short movie get shot by two other morons. That’s all. OOps, I forgot : The wonderful dialog is ‘UUURHH, Grunt, Grunt !’ I want my money back.”

– Varboro

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